Clearing out the crap...

It's becoming increasingly apparent that I will need move as soon as possible. I have so much crap! After moving around every 6 months to 2 years for the last...oh 20 years, I have never been able to really sit down and just go through things. Plus I need cash in the worst way right now. I need to sell all this extra junk as I anticipate being in a small apartment next instead of a house. I just won't have the room for it any more. This is difficult for me to do because a lot of the things that I keep are things that I will use, but not necessarily all the time. But in light of the fact that I'm shedding much of my past, I suppose this fits in. Sell the junk, pay off the bills, stash some in saving, and get the hell outta Dodge.

I've also been doing well on my exercise/training program and my stamina is definitely increasing and my tummy is flattening out a bit. (yay!) I can actually do more than 5 sun salutations without dying now. (double yay!) I want to be able to go to Chile and hike the Torres Del Paine maybe next year or the year after. The full circuit is a 62 miles/100 km plus extra side trips...probably will take about 2 weeks for what I want to do. I can't do that with a fat ass. I also want to be able to fully enjoy and participate in the field studies that I will be going on in school. I can't go digging around in Tanzania or South America with a fat ass either. It's kind of weird because I've never pictured myself as athletic, but I think I do have the ability to become at least somewhat athletic as I'm fairly flexible and I gain muscle very easily if I stick with training. The pain of putting my dreams on a shelf again is more painful that forcing myself to do something I never though I could or would for that matter. Go me! *pom poms*

Conscience Living

Yesterday and this morning I've been giving a lot of thought to the act of conscience living. I've been going over things in my mind, trying to identify exactly what it means to me and focus on moments instead of letting life go by in a blur. I've also tried to identify life defining moments. Of course there are plenty that readily come to mind, but what about all the other moments that have sculpted and molded me over the years? These little nuances of time are fleeting but leave an impression that has the power to permanently alter our perceptions and beliefs. Interactions with people that change who you are.

Perhaps I'm more sentimental than other people, but because so very few people in my life have actually really taken the time to actually know me, I tend to always hold those people in my heart even long after I've lost contact with them. The few people I've talked to about this have not shared this sentiment so I'm not sure if this is an uncommon thing to do, or I just haven't met other people who share this trait. I've gotten the impression time and time again that most people take people that they love, or who love them, for granted. I don't understand why that is. I'm guilty of this myself, but I try to avoid it.

Life is such a transient state that to not hold on to what is beautiful and good seems a tragedy. I do not want to go through life with words left unsaid because I never took the time to say them, or experiences unnoticed because I never took the time to really experience them. I don't think anyone wants to arrive at the grave and realize they've missed the whole point and be resigned to regret, or settle for the fact that they just didn't and be "ok". Wouldn't that just be self deception?

I feel that it is my duty to myself to notice and appreciate everything that I can in life, no matter how small or seemingly trivial simply because it is a part of life and this is the only chance I will get.

Libertated into Self Imprisonment

A little on nutrition and being a busy mom...

I'm so glad that I have the time now to devote more time to taking better care of and preparing more nutritious food for my family now. It is sooo much better tasting and healthier than having to (unfortunately) rely on more prepared foods, going out to eat, etc. When I was working, even though nutrition is a huge concern of mine, I really felt that I had little choice in the matter. And while I do think that I we ate healthier than most people out there, I really feel for overly busy moms that have to take on so many things and even though they want to feed their families better, really just don't have the time.

It's a huge undertaking to become a parent, and an even larger one to transition from eating a S.A.D. (standard american diet) to eating a more natural, whole foods based diet. We all see the words "childhood obesity" and "crisis" plastered all over the media and what are we going to do about this, what is causing it, etc. etc. etc. I really don't think it takes a genius to connect the dots here people. Ok, back 100 years ago, even 40 and 50 years ago, these types of things were simply not an issue. Why? Well, mom stayed home, mom cooked for the family. Families were able to enjoy the benefit of not having overworked, overtired, over stressed, overeverthing parents because family rolls were more defined and instead of having two people seperately preforming the jobs of bringing in income and taking care of the home and family, we now have it so both people are constantly rushing, rushing, rushing to get it all done and not having enough time to do it. Both jobs really are full time jobs when done right.

So now instead of having a realistic and healthy work/life balance, both parties are forced to go above and beyond every single day...or settle because they're just too freaking tired. So in marches Mr. Big Business telling you here, eat this prepacked, quick fix, "food" and don't stress. Desperate for any relief, a lot of people buy into this, and at what price? The price becomes their health and the health of their families. Human beings are programmed to expend as little energy as possible to meet basic needs, we're also programmed to seek pleasure. So when the average person is faced with the options of making something quick and probably not too terribly tasty or making something that's already mostly prepared and seasoned, all they have to do is throw it on the stove or go through a drive thru, they'll pick option 2. More calories, fats, sugars, salts, refined grains, and chemically altered food like items are injested. The poor body, while it has the calories neccessary to sustain life, does not have the neccessary nutrients it needs to produce good clean energy and is forced to spend it's time trying to clear out and compensate for the sludge that is now running through the body.

So how is the evening spent? Probably parked in front of the tv or computer. What is the result? Well, I see it as two fold. First, we get fat and our kids get fat. Second, without having the proper nutrition and energy to engage in things that will stimulate intellectual growth, we're also suffering a dumbing down of the nation. Overall academic performance has steadily declined since the 1970s. It' s really a sad state that we've forced ourselves into.

...more on this later....

Fall is really here now!

The weather for the past couple of days has been fairly cold and overcast. Today when I went down to pick up Perryn from school we took a detour on the way home by way of Starbucks. Perryn got his carmel apple cider and I got a coffee with pumpkin spice syrup. I always look forward to this time of year as nothing beats drinking a hot cup of coffee in cold weather.

The first apartment that I lived in when I was out in WA was in Bremerton up on the side of a hill overlooking Dye's Inlet. In the mornings I would sit out on my balcony watching the sun come up behind the Cascades and Mt. Ranier drinking my coffee. It's no wonder that Seattle is such a huge coffee mecca, the weather there just screams YOU NEED COFFEE!!!

Today I appreciated all things fall-ish and pumpkiny goodness!

Pickles!!!!

This year I'm attempting something I've never done before which is making pickles! I'm making refrigerator dill pickles, and with a nod to my Pennsylvania Dutch heritage, Pennsylvania Dutch pickled beets and eggs.

Dill Pickles

The dill pickles were inspired by combining the recipes and methods from the recipes here and here. I read over the reviews and started by slicing the cukes into spears and the soaking them in ice water in the fridge for the better part of the day which is supposed to help keep them crisp. For the brine I combined the following:

4 cups water
3.5 cups white vinegar
3.5 Tbs. coarse salt
3 packages fresh dill, chopped (4 sprigs reserved)
2 Tbs. dried dill (as I didn't have enough fresh)
6 bay leaves, crumbled
12 cloves garlic, minced
2 Tbs. pickling spices
4 tsp. dill seed

I omitted the sugar because I wanted a more classic dill pickle flavor and the extra red pepper flakes because the little kidlets won't eat things that are too spicy. Had they just been for Brian and I, I would have made them hot, hot, hot!

I combined the ingredients and brought the brine to a boil while I packed the cucumbers and dill sprigs into the jar. (half gallon pickle jar that I normally store rice in but happened to be empty) I had to do this in two layers and get creative with the placement so I would be able to fit everything in there. Next time I'm going to see if I can find a larger glass jar to do this in! I ended up with slightly more brine than needed so I strained off the spices and packed those into the jar so that they would season the pickles as well. Then I put the lid back on, gave it a good shake so the spices would work their way around the cucumbers and stuck it in the fridge.

I'll admit, they do look a little weird compared to what we normally get in the store. But the brine was tasty and the cucumbers were tasty...so in theory tasty × tasty = tasty² right?! In a week (if I last that long before giving in to temptation...) I'll be able to see if this worked.

Pennsylvania Dutch Pickled Beets and Eggs

So normally I either roast beets with other root veggies and herbs, or just have them plain boiled, but keeping in the spirit of the dill pickles I decided to give pickled beets a go too. When searching for a recipe I came across this one and immediately wanted to try it out. Like I mentioned earlier, this is a nod to my Pennsylvania Dutch heritage on my mother's side. Pickled eggs have been a quirky little fascination of mine lately anyway (eggs that are pickles?!) so it worked out quite nicely!

I started out by boiling the beets we'd picked for about 30 minutes and then peeling and slicing them. I slivered the onions because I thought that it would look prettier and work better when we go to eat them than chopped. I forgot to reserve the beet cooking water so I just used water. I'm hoping that it doesn't effect the flavor too much. I also only did 6 eggs because that's what we had in the house. Here is what I used for the brine: 1.5 cups water 1 onion, sliced 1 cup sugar 3/4 cup apple cider vinegar 1/2 tsp. salt 1/2 tsp. ground black pepper 2 bay leaves 12 whole cloves I brought this all to a boil and then simmered for about 5 minutes. While that was going I layered the beets, onions, and eggs in my jar. When the brine was ready, I ladled it over the beets, covered it up, and stuck it in the fridge. These only take 2 days before they're ready!

Miller Farms 2009

Every year we make the drive up to Miller Farms for their annual fall festival. I absolutely love going there as it's reminiscent of my childhood where I had the luxury of running around the acreage that we had at my parents house as well as my cousin's and grand parent's houses. (which happened to be right next door to each other)

We discovered Miller Farms by accident 3 years ago when we were heading up to a pumpkin festival in Lyons, CO. As we were driving up to the originally intended festival and storm was coming down off of the mountains and the festival was rained out. When we'd gotten off the highway we had seen a small, wooden, roughly painted sign that said Fall Festival with an arrow pointing to the east. The weather looked clear out on the plains so we decided to go check it out since were already out there and the kids were really bummed about the first festival getting rained out. It's funny how life throws you things like this sometimes and how much the outcome depends on whether you choose to ride the roller coaster or get off and go home.

Anyway, Miller Farms is a family owned farm that sells their produce at local farmer's markets, but every fall they also have this amazing festival. It's not all flashy and commercialized, it's just regular old good fun. (which is probably another reason why I love it) They've got so many thing for the kids to do there that growing up in the city, they would never get to do otherwise. There's a corn maze, a llama, goats, and horse that they can feed and pet, a hay mountain, a dirt mountain, little tractor peddle cars, a western "town", an old airplane they can climb in, bouncy house, etc. you get the idea. They also have live music periodically as well as honey people that come up from New Mexico with about 30 different varieties of honey that they farm from their hives along Rio Grande river area.

All of that stuff is great, but the highlight (for me anyway) is the hayride where they take you around their fields and you can pick nearly as much as you can carry. There are about 4-5 different stops and you're able to get 2-3 10lb. potato bags full of produce, per person at each stop. Perryn (my oldest son) has never been able to go to this because he's always had to go back to Ohio the previous years so we decided to take him up there this past weekend. We figured that for what we hauled away from there, we probably spent about $0.40 per pound for the produce we picked out of the fields. If you have the chance, go, go, go!!

I'm not sure if they're fully organic, a transitional farm or whatever but the lady working the little market barn in the front said that they don't use pesticides, herbicides, or anything like that. I felt good about the fact that I was supporting a local family farm and the freshness of what I was getting before hearing that, but it made me feel even better about the money I was spending. We're probably going to go up once more closer to Halloween with the other kids too since they were a little miffed that they didn't get to go this time.

So here is a picture of our first haul which more than covered our entire kitchen table that seats 6:

About 25lbs. of red potatoes, a ginormous bunch of flat leaf parsley, carrots, 4 bunches of celery, kohlrabi, turnips, a golden beet, pie pumpkins, green and wax beans, poblano, anaheim, hatch green and white bell peppers, broccoli, green and red cabbage, pickle cucumbers, patty pan squash, zucchini, red beets, baby artichokes, massive amounts of eggplant, and corn. What you don't see are the dozen peppers and 4 eggplants we'd already eaten, the huge bunch of basil, the other half of the pickle cucumbers, and the onions we were also able to get.

The past few days have consisted of scrubbing all of this (the picture was taken after the fact) and then prepping and freezing a good portion of this. I still haven't figured out what I'm going to do with all this eggplant yet.

Insert Catchy Intro Here!!!

Accidental apotheosis of life...huh?

For me, it's the fact that even though my life has been a seemingly continual series of traumatic events (some self imposed, some not) I've still learned to embrace and appreciate what I do have and the world around me on a profoundly spiritual level. I say accidental because I never actually made a conscience choice to change my life experience from dwelling in fear, pain, hopelessness, and agonizing sadness to where I am now. I am currently at one of the most challenging points I've ever been at in my life but I still find reasons every single day that make my heart ache with joy and thankfulness. Every day for me always holds the promise of something amazing and for the first time I actually feel solidity within my center of being instead of a chaotic storm.

I have so many things that I have always wanted to do, etc. but never had the motivation or belief in myself that I could actually accomplish anything. A few years ago I remember reading the following...I can't remember where though, but it was written by Marianne Williams.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

At the time I remember thinking that it was a rather far fetched statement. I mean there I was, this person who lived and breathed fear, and I certainly did not feel that it was in any way, shape, or form fear of my own greatness. Perhaps reading that made an impression on my subconscious. I now completely understand and agree with that statement. I just wish it hadn't taken me 33 years to figure it out.

*****

Anyway, on to fun things! I'm mama to 4 incredible kids and will definitely be posting a lot about them. I'm also a voracious reader, love cooking (yes I will inundate this blog with recipes and pictures of said recipes, vegetarian of course because I don't dig on swine), and will be going back to school soon for anthropology and religious studies. (because analyzing pottery fragments in a lab all day is my dream job...and no, I'm not being my usual sarcastic self about that) Mmm...lots o juicy brain food there to blog about. Everything else will be about as Napoleon Dynamite would say "Whatever I feel like I wanna do, gosh!"