Insert Catchy Intro Here!!!

Accidental apotheosis of life...huh?

For me, it's the fact that even though my life has been a seemingly continual series of traumatic events (some self imposed, some not) I've still learned to embrace and appreciate what I do have and the world around me on a profoundly spiritual level. I say accidental because I never actually made a conscience choice to change my life experience from dwelling in fear, pain, hopelessness, and agonizing sadness to where I am now. I am currently at one of the most challenging points I've ever been at in my life but I still find reasons every single day that make my heart ache with joy and thankfulness. Every day for me always holds the promise of something amazing and for the first time I actually feel solidity within my center of being instead of a chaotic storm.

I have so many things that I have always wanted to do, etc. but never had the motivation or belief in myself that I could actually accomplish anything. A few years ago I remember reading the following...I can't remember where though, but it was written by Marianne Williams.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

At the time I remember thinking that it was a rather far fetched statement. I mean there I was, this person who lived and breathed fear, and I certainly did not feel that it was in any way, shape, or form fear of my own greatness. Perhaps reading that made an impression on my subconscious. I now completely understand and agree with that statement. I just wish it hadn't taken me 33 years to figure it out.

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Anyway, on to fun things! I'm mama to 4 incredible kids and will definitely be posting a lot about them. I'm also a voracious reader, love cooking (yes I will inundate this blog with recipes and pictures of said recipes, vegetarian of course because I don't dig on swine), and will be going back to school soon for anthropology and religious studies. (because analyzing pottery fragments in a lab all day is my dream job...and no, I'm not being my usual sarcastic self about that) Mmm...lots o juicy brain food there to blog about. Everything else will be about as Napoleon Dynamite would say "Whatever I feel like I wanna do, gosh!"